Drunk again

[radlilim]

Preface: these drunken posts after bar time are gonna get me in trouble.


Going out with couples is really hard. I spend lots o time staring into space while the have kissy private talks. I don't begrudge them for it, just wish it was me. I think I need to find single friends to drag out with us, cause even the memory of Bosie can't keep the depression at bay when I'm drunk and all I can see around me is happy couples.

What the fuck is worng with me. Thinking maybe I should get a private site for these rambleings cause they are gonna just cause problems. But I'm hoping that this will allow me to sleep sound and not do anything rash.

Not even sure I want to dot he P-ville trip now. It'll be fine once I get there and have people to hang with, but If all the other singles punk out, I might just cancel. Don't know if I can put up with this all weekend in a hotel room. It reminds me of the sophmore year spring break and people fucking in every bathroom in each hotel room on the trip.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Even my cat dosn't like me as much anymore since I shaved the beard off. *sigh* Maybe I'll just move to Boise, where I can at least get some. Cause I don't have lots of hope for that here. maybe I just won't get up tomorrow, staying in bed all day is kinda a nice idea. Why get up anyway? Sleep until Monday when I can go back to my no-where job.

Fuck.

I'm probably just doing this for the attention. So fucking transparent that I can see though it. Fuck.

At least I got a few compliments on the Twinkie shirt.

Cry now.

Comments

[flamestar-m.livejournal.com]

Sorry bout the hotel thing. I think what happens is couples are so happy and involved with each other, that they don't realize what they do to the single people that are there. I remember being the third or fifth wheel many times. Especially when I was in high school or at parties in college. I hated it. Everyone would be so kissy, and instead of feeling better it got me more depressed. I remember at many of my sorority banquets, sitting in the corner crying, because I didn't have anyone, and everyone else was out dancing to the slow songs.


I know you don't need to hear my depressing stories also, but I want you to know that other people have been through it as well. It is better if you can avoid being the only single person out in the group, or at least have one other person there without their boy/girl. Then there's someone to talk to when the other couples get all mushy. Other then that I don't have any good advice, except keep your hopes up. You'll find someone eventually, I know you will. And once again I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times, but there's someone out there for you. Once in awhile it's just harder to see.


Once again I'm sorry about the hotel room stuff. If I remember though, I don't think it was every hotel room. :) And like I said, couples don't realize how much they can hurt other people just by being so happy with each other. I hope you feel better a little this morning after the alcohol wears off.

[jkivela.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I felt much better after that psot. Thinking I might get a personal site where I can just bitch and not worry anyone.

I'm working on getting Hippy out with me more often. It''l all be OK.

Re:

[flamestar-m.livejournal.com]

Your post didn't worry me. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Well hopefully it will work out. :)