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radlilimSo today I'm going to try something new. Since I can't post to LJ during the day (no internet access at work), I will simply write what I feel like when I want to, and then upload the whole thing when I get home. This way I can talk about what I want to when I'm thinking about it, not trying to remember it when I get home.
All and all, I think it worked out well. At lest it kept me a little occupied at work.
12:04 pm
So, I haven't done work all day. I finished my book an hour ago and then went home for a new one. The only other thing I accomplished was sending in to AAA for the travel plans that I can get free for our trip in June.
I'm think maybe I should go job hunting again. I like where I work and what I do, when there's something to do. But I hate just sitting doing nothing. I've been through three departments now, trying to keep myself occupied. But no dice. At the gardens today I saw tons of kids, and it got me thinking about being young again, with the world ahead of you, and starting getting me to think about my choices in life and regretting some of them. Like, why did I go to school for engineering? It didn't pan out, but it did put me in Platteville. Now, I won't trade my friends for anything, but maybe I should have been the scientist/biologist that I wanted to be when I was 5. Who knows what might be different. I might be traveling now, really enjoying what I do. Maybe actually have someone special. I wonder if its too late to do something about it. I can't really afford to go back to school, I have more debt now than when I graduated. But maybe I'll look into it.
Unfortunently that takes ambition, and that is something I'm lacking these days. I tend to stumble around in a slight haze of depression, with the occasional burst of energy. I keep starting to do stuff, to try and change my life around, but then I lose interest.
All I want out of life is to have a job I enjoy, money isn't really that important, and someone to hold me at night.
Boy do I sound melancholy today. I wonder if medication would make it all better?
2:47
Well I had a little bit of work to do, and thats now done and now I'm working for the art department for a bit. I love being a department whore.
I was kinda reminiscing while I was waiting for my computer to process and remembering about a week or so ago when I thought someone liked me. I remember being really happy, and then very disappointed when it fell through. I'm thinking next time I won't ask, just enjoy the thought that someone is interested.
Ugh, if I don't get out of this funky soon, I'm gonna start pissing me off.
It seems unfair that some people can just blow into town and met the perfect person in a matter of days, and I'm stuck with nothing. Might as well join a monastery, at least my afterlife would be secure. (Oh, and no actual malice towards Blythe or Matt with the above comment. I'm actually happy for them.)
I'm starting to understand why lots of people use journals, online or not. It's kinda therapeutic. I actually feel a bit better than this morning.
All and all, I think it worked out well. At lest it kept me a little occupied at work.
12:04 pm
So, I haven't done work all day. I finished my book an hour ago and then went home for a new one. The only other thing I accomplished was sending in to AAA for the travel plans that I can get free for our trip in June.
I'm think maybe I should go job hunting again. I like where I work and what I do, when there's something to do. But I hate just sitting doing nothing. I've been through three departments now, trying to keep myself occupied. But no dice. At the gardens today I saw tons of kids, and it got me thinking about being young again, with the world ahead of you, and starting getting me to think about my choices in life and regretting some of them. Like, why did I go to school for engineering? It didn't pan out, but it did put me in Platteville. Now, I won't trade my friends for anything, but maybe I should have been the scientist/biologist that I wanted to be when I was 5. Who knows what might be different. I might be traveling now, really enjoying what I do. Maybe actually have someone special. I wonder if its too late to do something about it. I can't really afford to go back to school, I have more debt now than when I graduated. But maybe I'll look into it.
Unfortunently that takes ambition, and that is something I'm lacking these days. I tend to stumble around in a slight haze of depression, with the occasional burst of energy. I keep starting to do stuff, to try and change my life around, but then I lose interest.
All I want out of life is to have a job I enjoy, money isn't really that important, and someone to hold me at night.
Boy do I sound melancholy today. I wonder if medication would make it all better?
2:47
Well I had a little bit of work to do, and thats now done and now I'm working for the art department for a bit. I love being a department whore.
I was kinda reminiscing while I was waiting for my computer to process and remembering about a week or so ago when I thought someone liked me. I remember being really happy, and then very disappointed when it fell through. I'm thinking next time I won't ask, just enjoy the thought that someone is interested.
Ugh, if I don't get out of this funky soon, I'm gonna start pissing me off.
It seems unfair that some people can just blow into town and met the perfect person in a matter of days, and I'm stuck with nothing. Might as well join a monastery, at least my afterlife would be secure. (Oh, and no actual malice towards Blythe or Matt with the above comment. I'm actually happy for them.)
I'm starting to understand why lots of people use journals, online or not. It's kinda therapeutic. I actually feel a bit better than this morning.
