Revalation
Mar. 26th, 2004 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radlilimLast night was fun, in a very drunk kinda way. See MJ's journal for details. Had a good time hanging out with Ben, and that's a story by itself. I apologise to Cass for loging on very drunk (should NOT have driven myself hom, BTW) and bitching at her until I got whinny and logged off in a huff and then passed out. Slept late, got in lateish (if 8:30 is late).
And like a few of my firends lately, I had a revelation today. I realize that I don't really want a gril/boy firend. What I really want is a best friend again. I just kinda figured that would come with the girl/boy firend. I really miss what I had with Jeramie in college. That could not happen now, the two of us have drifted apart, both physically and mentally. But I really want something like that again. So I think I'll stop worrying about finding someone to sleep with and find someone to live with. Now, if we end up able to sleep together alos, bonus! But its not that big of a deal.
The spark of this was seeing two guys come into and cafe where I was havnig lunch, order some coffee and then take a chess set outside on the patio and start to play. I realized that it looked really fun and I wanted someone to do stuff like that with. Someone who has me first in their life, who when they are bored, or upset, or sees/hears something cool, imeditely thinks "I need to tell Jason about that."
Not sure what this revelation will lead to, in practicaly life aspects, but who knows. Self discovery and understanding can only be good, right?
And like a few of my firends lately, I had a revelation today. I realize that I don't really want a gril/boy firend. What I really want is a best friend again. I just kinda figured that would come with the girl/boy firend. I really miss what I had with Jeramie in college. That could not happen now, the two of us have drifted apart, both physically and mentally. But I really want something like that again. So I think I'll stop worrying about finding someone to sleep with and find someone to live with. Now, if we end up able to sleep together alos, bonus! But its not that big of a deal.
The spark of this was seeing two guys come into and cafe where I was havnig lunch, order some coffee and then take a chess set outside on the patio and start to play. I realized that it looked really fun and I wanted someone to do stuff like that with. Someone who has me first in their life, who when they are bored, or upset, or sees/hears something cool, imeditely thinks "I need to tell Jason about that."
Not sure what this revelation will lead to, in practicaly life aspects, but who knows. Self discovery and understanding can only be good, right?
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-26 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-26 11:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-26 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-26 11:29 am (UTC)Perhaps I am not pouring words in your ear as I counsel you against relationships? (Particularly with me, erk.)
No one should need a lover to be complete and happy. Everyone, however, needs a best friend. Best friends do not patch our holes the way a lover is supposed to, whether actively (you know what I mean) or simply by their presence.