radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
I think I'm loosing interest in doing art for fanworks. Not sure why exactly, but the problems I've had with contacting authors, authors dropping out, and being inspired by the latest works has something to do with it. I am currently only in the Teen Wold Big Bang, and I'm not really sure I'm going to enter any more. This is the first year in 4 (5?) years I haven't joined the Supernatural Big Bang.

Actually I'm like 8 episodes behind on watching Supernatural. And I kinda miss it, but life is just too busy and stressful to bother with trying to keep up with shows. I'm almost up to date with SHIELD, Flash and Arrow, but TV in all seems like too much work. If I have free time, I try and read, and I don't have time for that any more either. I've been on the first Shanara book for a month now, 700 some pages should not take me that long.

I think I'm just worn out in general, and I don't see that getting better for at least a year.

Wow, that's an unhappy thought.
radlilim: (gay NOH8)
We started our new D&D campaign last night. The previous one of about three years wrapped up, my boy friend has a school conflict, so the DM decided he'd move the end session up a bit and we could wrap up the plot line. We might pick it up again some day, but for now it's "done".

The new version of D&D (5th edition) was voted as the new system and we spent last night making characters and having a quick "danger room" session, to get familiar with the system. I'm looking forward to this new game. My character in the previous campaign was very flat, basically just described by what he could do. But that was mostly how 4E was designed, as more of a miniatures or video game style. 5E is more like 2nd edition, and role playing will be more important. I'm actually excited about the back story I came up with, I hope it gets used in the game sometime. I'm going to try for a more out going and leader like character, we'll see if I can also be a more assertive player to make that happen.

In other news, work is stressful, I'm fairly down emotionally these days. I miss having time to read and draw. And I'm sad that I can't work out time to go see my folks and family.

Bright spot is vacation in two weeks, we'll be in New Orleans for a few days. I've never been there, so hopefully it'll be interesting and fun.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Wow, there went a month without posting.

Which pretty much explains what December was about. Working too much, stressed and exhausted. Overall things are well, just tired and no time off. I had the 24th and 25th off from both jobs, which I think hadn't happened in a month and a half. Hoping for full days off again in January. Enjoying B&N still, good people, understanding bosses. Omnipress is a lot of work still, working on changing processes that need fixing, and getting myself and other new people trained. Still appreciated for what I bring.

Christmas was low key, just Paul and I relaxing at home with the dogs. Holiday bash at Blythe's was fun as always. Rough next morning though. Going to Heidi's tonight for an at home, low key, games and drink New Year's party.

Will get up north to see the family early January for Dad's birthday. Been too long since I've seen grandma. That needs to happen soon.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Our friends Egon and Shannon got married over the weekend. Had a nice, if cold, service on the beach at one of the smaller parks in Madison. Then lots of talking and game playing all Saturday night. Learned how to play Touch of Evil, which was fun. We did get started a bit late.

Also got the website I've been working on for my cousin launched. And after a bunch of really negative comments on facebook, I have some more work to do. I don't understand being so nasty and negative about a wedding/bakery website. I mean, really? Did they see the old one? It played a midi file! That pissed me off for the day, and then I had a long shift at B&N. That second job is not relaxing like the watch shop used to be. I miss that. At B&N I'm on my feet the entire time. And while there was some training, now we are at the learn by fire stage.

I feel it's gonna be a long week. And I might be catching Paul's cold. Hope not.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Car update, turns out the adjuster looked at it Tuesday, approved the claim and told the shop to start work. The shop says my car should be ready tonight.

All very cool. However, it'd have been nice for someone along that process to have called me. I called the claims department Wednesday to check in, since I hadn't heard from anyone and got that update. It's a good thing I did call, cause the claims dept. sent me a check Wednesday as well. But it was only made out to me, so even if I had gotten it in time, I won't have had time to cash it, and thus could not pick up my car.

Fortunently the customer service person was able to stop payment on that check and pay the shop directly. So that is sorted out. Good customer service from State Farm, BTW.


Work is still really stressful. There is a soft open on Monday, for select Beta testers, and the full open is Oct. 16th. While the site looks fine and functions, the orders are not being sent to the system for printing and shipping yet. I have tried like 5 solutions, and none of them totally work. I'm running out of creativity. I will try and work this weekend, and I'm hoping I have an Ah-Ha moment and we can get it done before we let the masses in.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
It's been an interesting week.

I took Tuesday off form work to wait for a home gym to be delivered. Paul has less time to go to the gym now with school, so this is an option for working out at home. But the gym was in three packages weighing over 300 lbs. I did not want to have to pick it up from the front office. So I waited at home all day for it, then put it together that afternoon. The morning I was able to get a lot done on my cousin's bakery website and do updates for next year's Milmaids Bowling tournament website. (Thanks to my friends who took a look at the bakery site.)

Wednesday I took a half day off work for my first day at Barnes & Nobel. It was fine, half off Starbucks is going to be a bad temptation. I have my next shift then next Thursday. I'm liking the "borrow a book" policy, so that workers can be up to speed on new books coming out.

Thursday we had a really bad storm. It rained like 2 inches in like 2 hours. I left the apartment at 5:20ish to go to work at the mall, not raining. By the time I was at the intersection to get into the mall, 20 minutes later, it had rained so much that the water was up to the headlights on the cars, you couldn't see the medians and there were cars stalled everywhere. My car sputtered a bit, but I made it in.

I tweeted a pic

Friday my car started acting up. After about 5 minutes of driving, the engine temp would sky rocket, topping out around 290F. I left early from work and took it to the shop. It turns out the water on Thursday had gotten high enough that it reached my cooling fan. The fan speed combined with hitting the water cause all three fan blades to sheared off, sending them flying into my radiator, and putting a hole in it. So today I am car-less, Paul brought me into work, but flood damage is covered by my car insurance, so it should be fully covered. Waiting to hear back.

Might need a ride into work on Monday though.

All though this was work. So stressful and busy there. Huge project with a looming deadline. We are making good progress, but I'm not sure we will finish in time. Going to have to put in some hours form home this weekend.

Tonight we are off to a house warming party for a co-worker of Paul's, which will be fun. I also have a growing list of art to work on, need to get on that, ASAP.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Time to look for a new job. But a 2nd job this time.

The mall where the clock store is that I work is going to start renovating the building soon, and where my store sits will soon be a road. We have the option to move to a new location, but between how much business we have and the rent, it doesn't sound like the store will stay open. If they do stay open and move, it will be more geared towards repair, and less retail. So there will be no need for an evening shift. So I will be loosing my job in November. No hard feelings, though the logic the mall is running with is kinda suspect.

So I'm looking for a new part time job. I'd love to go down to one main job, but that still won't pay all the bills. (That is one of my life goals, survive on only 1 job--you'd hope that at 35 I could be there, but alas.) I considered Best Buy again, but too stressful, even if I could get out of sales. I'm really hopping for Barns & Nobel, as I like books, but we will see, I've tried there before. Might try PDQ gas station as well, as I could walk there. It's a good time, with the holiday season coming up to look as well.

Main job is still really stressful, as we are entering our really busy season and I am still working two jobs, until my replacement for the old job can take over. Lots of juggling meetings, tasks and shifting head spaces (to switch thought processes for both jobs).

Yesterday I took off from the mall (and am working today instead) so we could go to Wisconsin Dells as sort of an end of the summer vacation day. We went on the zip line course, had a horse ride, wandered the main strip and then had dinner at Graze back in Madison. Nice day all around, though today my abs and butt are sore from the horse ride.
radlilim: (NOH8)
I made the time to go up north and see Laura and her family before they leave for another year of teaching in the desert this week. I went up on Sunday night, since Saturday was B's cookout and my last chance to see Wendy before she left for 2 years in Korea.

It was nice seeing Laura and the kids again. Jack is still acts out a bit, but he's 3 and that's fairly normal. Cora is still all smiles and has learned how to yell, and likes the sound of her voice.

Work turned into a huge mess while I was gone. Still putting out fires. I need to get my old projects handed off, cause right now I don't have time for anything, so everything is suffering. I feel like I'm failing cause I can't do a good job.
radlilim: (NOH8)
So, an update...

House is sold. We closed on Wednesday, was pretty painless, only a small(ish) closing cost fee. So it's gone, no longer have to worry about it. Strong emotions of relief and failure. Time to move on, I guess.

Helping my cousins who have a bakery down in the Virgin Islands set up a website and get a control on the services they are paying for. Nice to touch base with them again.

Work is very stressful right now, working the new job (title is Fulfillment Services Manager), working the old job and training my replacement. all at the same time. Gonna be a a busy month or so while I get my old job passed off.

I should be up north this weekend at Cora's birthday party. But with some recent expenses, I can't afford the gas money. Some day I will not have to worry about stuff like that. Just not sure when.

I do hope to get up there a few times this summer still.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
I suppose a house update is in order. I was supposed to close on 5/17, however the buyers needed an extension. Then we were supposed to do it "some time" last week. Turns out the buyers are getting the money from a private investor (whatever that means) and are having issues securing the money. So this week for sure! (probably not.) If we don't do it this week the paperwork we had signed will expire and we will have to go through more of that again.

None of this is my fault, there is nothing I can do, and I didn't even pick this buyer, the bank did.

I just would like it over.


Things are changing a bit at work as well. My department of three brings in about $600K a year. There is another area that brings in $1.5M, and there is only one guy handling most of that. Since the skill sets between the two areas are similar (i.e. we both work with databases and websites) it was thought that I can cross train. Which is cool, I have been feeling topped out in my area, I'm ready for something new. We've had some training and currently my main goal is to document everything, so that someone can cover for us if we aren't around. That and learn how to set up and maintain shopping carts.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Not feeling very well, mentally, at all. As I said on twitter, I feel like an elephant is sitting on my head.

It started yesterday when I was pulled over by a cop and got a ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a light before turn right onto an on ramp. Paul wants me to go to the hearing and try to get the points deduction reduced. And I should. But I don't expect the judge to do anything, they never seem to. And I don't really have the energy. We'll see, it's a few weeks off.

I'm also not really enjoying D&D as much anymore. Mostly my character is boring and in-effective. The one thing he's good at we never run into. Most of my abilities hurt the other players, if we are next to each other, and combat seems to be crowded all the time, so I can't use a lot of the powers. And I don't feel very involved in the plot. It's probably just me, I've never been a very strong or forceful player. Just sucks that the one fun thing we do a week isn't. Maybe volleyball (if I can play) will be fun again.

No movement on the house. No change in work.

Maybe I need to start looking forward to seeing Laura and her family this summer. Just so there is a light out there somewhere to move towards.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
When I'm feeling down I tend to analyze my life (which usually doesn't help the mood much).

I was thinking about the one goal I had after college. That was to have enough money to be able to go to the grocery store and buy any food that I wanted, when I wanted it. Just food, that's all.

13 years later and I'm still not there. So very sad. Though now I'd like to amend my goal, to be able to do that while working only one job.

I'm still really worn out and beaten down. I just with I had an idea when things will get better. Even a vague one.

I did wow my boss today with a new workflow I developed. It wasn't really my job to do it, but it was a part of one of my projects and was interesting to do. So I worked on it and have figured out a way to save us some money. Go me, I guess.
radlilim: (NOH8)
Boy do we have snow. Like a foot already? I think. And it's still coming in. And I'm the only one from my half of the building in right now. If I had vacation, I'd leave. But I expect Best Buy to be open tonight anyway, so I'll have to venture out for that as well.

I really wish I was in a place financially where I could move south.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
One of the hardest things about this whole moving thing is that I have to get rid of things I like (or love) because we have a lot less space. I know they are just objects and shouldn't matter, but it's still not fair. Bad enough that I have to sell the house, but do I have to get rid of my favorite piece of furniture too? I just keep asking myself "why me, what did I do to deserve this"?

I am pretty excited about tonight though. I don't have to work at Best Buy and have no plans to be productive instead. It's D&D night, and I get to go. I do feel really guilty about not working on either packing the house or organizing the apartment, but I have tomorrow night off also, so am planning to be productive then.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
It was a long weekend, I'm quiet happy to be back in the office sitting down.

On Thanksgiving we picked up the UHaul truck and with Ben's help got all of the furniture we think we want to keep over to the apartment. Took us one trip, about 2.5 hours, which was nice. Then Paul and I unpacked and organized, until we went over to [livejournal.com profile] exairian's for TDay dinner. Trevor's parents were over also, and it was a really nice dinner and time.

Black Friday was crazy. I didn't have to start until 9am, which was nice to get to skip the crazies. But it was a 12 hour day and pretty disorganized. I also didn't have to help restock, another plus.

Saturday was actually worse, because I was so tired from Friday, and still had a 9 hour shift. The food Best Buy had catered in was great though. After work we went over to Blythe and Trevor's again, this time for drinking with Wendy and Drew, who are up for a bit. Nice to see them, but I over did it on the gin.

Sunday was rough, as I'm pretty sure I was still drunk when I got into work. And that moved over to a hangover. Also they had me at the front of the store for a while being a greater. Not the best of situations. I spent most of the day as a dedicated cashier in our department, which isn't bad, really.

This week looks a bit busier at Omnipress, and I'm hoping that I can get over to the house and clean, as it is not in any shape to be shown to buyers.

Next weekend is the Omnipress holiday party, which sounds great. I'm hoping Best Buy doesn't change their mind about letting me out early enough to go to it.
radlilim: (Gen I'm fine)
Gonna be a busy "holiday" for us. Today I work at Omnipress like normal, till 5. Then I work 6 to "midnight" (or 1-2am like I expect) setting Best Buy up for Black Friday. Which means stocking the shelves as much as we can, and setting up "kill alleys" or traffic flow with larger, slower selling product to keep the crowds in control.

Thursday we are picking up a UHaul to move the furniture to the new apartment, because Paul and I are off from all of our jobs/school. Hoping we will get a few friends willing to help for a few hours. My aunts offered to come down and help, which is awesome, but to have them drive 4.5 hours down and 4.5 hours back to help us move for 5 hours is crazy. Nice thought though.

After moving we are over to [livejournal.com profile] exairian's for T-day dinner. Nice of them to have us over to share a meal with their families.

Then is the 12 hour, 9am to 9pm Black Friday shift at Best Buy. Probably one of the best shifts I could get. Then like 2-10:30 on Saturday. And then a normal shift on Sunday.

I'll probably hate [livejournal.com profile] exairian for getting me into this by the end of the weekend, but that will be quickly forgotten after I get paid. Plus we can commiserate with booze.
radlilim: (Default)
Had first day of training at Best Buy yesterday. Pretty much the usual corporate intro stuff. My only real worry is Black Friday is in a little over two weeks and it'd be really nice if I know most of the specs on most of the tablets and laptops by then. I'm not the best at memorizing, so we will see. I'm shadowing someone tonight, so I think after that I'll have a good idea. Maybe I'll get lucky and they will let me focus on the Apple stuff.

So tonight is Best Buy (meaning I'm missing D&D--first night of paragon levels too), tomorrow night is the mall again and then Friday will be Best Buy again. Then we have a company wide Best Buy meeting on Saturday at 7am to go over Black Friday details. Then I shadow there again during the day.

Expect me to have a life in February again.

We go and sign the lease for the new apartment today. Turns out the person that had gotten their app in before us canceled, so we are back on the ground floor again. Which is great, so much easier to move. We will start to slowly move boxes every night now. And then we need to find a day we are both off and can rent a truck to do the furniture all on one day. I'm actually thinking Thanksgiving, as I'll be off from all jobs and Paul might be also. And we have no plans.

It kinda sucks that Paul is now working a normal shift and will be home around 7 each night, and now I'm the one at work late. Someday our schedules will actually match.
radlilim: (Default)
I'm feeling pretty crappy today. So many wishes and regrets.

I also still seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Teen Wolf gifs. Though I did finally find the one sequence that I've been looking for forever. The one of Derek trying on shirts and Danny staring. And I found a few of the Jackson in front of the jeep montage.
radlilim: (Default)
It's been a long time since I worked a Sunday at the mall. I normally don't because I have volleyball in the afternoon and the Sunday shift is 7 hours by yourself (it's slow). But we need the money, no one else really could (unless my boss/friend canceled plans) and I really can't afford volleyball at the moment. Which also means I'll have to take a season off or two. Which sucks, I was planning on getting on a team with my cousin Nate and his girl friend Courtney. That'd have been a lot of fun.

Not sure what I'll do today while working. Usually a lot of slow times. The Olympics are on across the hall at the sports/shoe store. And men's volleyball is on. Not the easiest thing to watch across a hallway though. I have the disks for Roswell season 1 and Glee season 1. Plus I have Merlin season 2 saved on Hulu. And I've been meaning to check out the Hulu original Battleground (with Allison Hayslip), which is about a political battle in Wisconsin. Then I have the tablet, so I could draw (have art to do for Gwen) or read.

I do feel bad the dogs will be in their cage 8 hours without a potty break though.

Just wish at this point in my life I didn't have to sacrifice things like that and have to have a second job. It's getting to the point where I'm thinking it actually won't really get better and constantly feeling behind on life will be it.
radlilim: (Default)
I got up north this week to see/meet my new niece. Picture:



She's pretty awesome, though all she did was sleep and eat, as 1 week old babies are prone to do. So tiny though. Lots of black hair. It was nice just sitting on the couch with her resting in my arms on my chest. Peaceful.

Jack is in full on jealous mode. He likes his sister, but he's just in an acting out stage. Laura and Rob were told he's too smart for his age, and acting out is a common result. But I spent time with him playing when he wasn't being naughty. I got to take him to his last day of swimming lessons with grandma too.

Laura looks pretty tired, since Cora needs to eat so often. Hopefully she can start to get some rest soon.

Life in Madison is kinda sad and scary now. Money issues. One of those time we have to just bare through it as best we can and hope for some relief to come soon.

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